Where do I even start?
I hope everyone reading this has personally experienced it or at least have seen the pressure of getting married in friends and/or family, mostly when they are not even ready. As you guessed it right, it’s pathetic.
Especially in Asian countries like India, Pakistan, China, etc. this has become something which is of very high importance in one’s life as soon as they cross a certain age, more or less, in the early twenties.
There could be a hundred reasons why this is happening with us and not the rest of the world, few of major reasons I think of are our mythology which focuses on the importance of having your next generation without which you are deemed as a weak, culture which teaches you to follow whatever your elders say and never question them back, and maybe a lot of more things. But I have a different thought on this topic and it might look this is not possible with everyone, but well, at least we can try to think that way!
I think marriage is not something we should do just because we have crossed a certain age, or just because our parents, society wants us to do. Marriage is not something we should do just because we think, it is something which can accept us in society, or just because you want the next generation in the family.
I think marriage is something which should be the last compromise anyone could think of, not the first. Because if your marriage is compromised based on the pressure of acceptance, your most part of life is based on your first compromise. You do everything ever after because you are now wired to follow compromise. To give you a sense of what I mean, please read the below quote carefully:
Now, this begs the question, then what should be defined as Marriage?
I guess Marriage is something which is equivalent to bliss, the joy of getting connected to someone you think you could spend your whole life with (Even if it turns out to be opposite later).
I think if there is no love, no excitement to stay together forever, magical hope to have a great time ahead, marriage just becomes a part of your life, which you have to do, with or without excitement, which defeats the purpose of it.
I think most of us already compromise a lot by being Engineers, Doctors, Lawyers when we could be painters, artists, singers just because we never had a say in it. I think we already give up a lot of dreams because of our parents, emotional pressures, financial conditions, and whatnot.
Apart from giving up so much already, if you give your remaining part of life to live with someone you don’t really love is similarly like becoming a zombie, where you surely can walk like a normal person, but you cannot feel the softness of sand underneath you.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. Would love to get your feedback.
7 Comments
Well brother, this is what we have discussed for hours and hours together.
One of the aspects on this is one should always take a decision while choosing a partner based on the level of excitement one feels for the other! when you dont feel the excitement for your next date/plan with your partner , when you dont feel the inner connection then 100% efforts wont be made to make your partner happy or a relationship a successfull one. I truly believe “Excitement” is a major contributor for any relationship to go a long way.
The kind of excitement which makes you feel like on top of the world, the excitement to schedule your regular date nights, the excitement to verbalize your love feelings, the excitement to try out new things every time you are together, the excitement to establish the goals together and to discuss your dreams and hopes together. Without all these as when newness wears off then relationship starts heading towards a dull state but with all these is what makes a marriage a really BLISSFUL relationship.
Anyways as always you have a written an excellent piece of info on such an important subject and I always say bro you are a great author by heart 😊 though not by profession 😜….keep posting as we always awaits your posts.
Very mature views on marriage. Atleast you surely know what you want from life at your age, while many don’t. Wish you the very best in life in career, love and family life.👍
Perfect impressions on marriage !! Thought provoking 🙂 I always enjoy your blog’s. You have a gift for discussing such subtle issues in truthful yet amusing ways. It seems I can always identify experiences in my own life with those you describe. Your articles help us realize that our problems are typical, and we can solve them in constructive ways. Thank you Devesh for sharing such amazing ideas.
Marriage the most beautiful and Responsible word
Offcourse marriage is very exciting, but what if our parents don’t agree with our choice… That’s the case which most of the people experience, and I would like to hear from such people if anyone of them is in ur contact.
Nice Blog Devesh!!
It will be difficult for me to comment on subject like marriage without experience 🙂 but i think marriage is comprises of love and understanding about your spouse. Happiest couple in the world never have the same nature, they just have the best understanding of their differences.
Below quote defines the marrige very well…
“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences”
Hi
I agree with your thoughts in this article. Marriage should be for the right reasons, like you really enjoy spending time with a person and would like to spend the rest of your life with them. You want to grow old with a person, experience the ups and downs of life with them etc. But sometimes it has become a checklist in your life which needs to be ticked once you cross a certain age.